House o' Cimmorene

Okay.  I know that a few of you are wondering about the title.  So here's what it refers to.

 

Also, some of you may be wondering what on earth "Ants in the Pants" is.  The following picture should help things a little.

Anyway, so Cimmy what's this all about?  Well, my husband got up this morning and, lo and behold, there were ants coming in the back door and congregating around his desk and the sofa, so, wonderful man that he is, he decided to handle it all himself, washed the vacuum cleaner out and began to vacuum the house like crazy.  When I woke up he was trying to move the sofa so he could vacuum behind it.  So I helped him, then I went back to my room to take care of some other things, obviously not as important, of course, as an ant invasion.  My husband gently reminded me of the fact and asked me to clear off the dining table instead.  Well anyway, we bought a can of Raid Ant and Roach spray and a Steam Cleaner for the carpet and we've been cleaning ever since, even going so far as to completely unload my husband's desk, take it apart and move it so that he could clean underneath it.  The whole thing stressed us both out so you can imagine how short both our tempers were, not to mention that my one year old son began to feel decidedly ignored and left out.  Of course, I couldn't let him out because the floor wasn't clear enough, but eventually, he went to sleep, so we had some peace for a while.  Well, I still need to clean the kitchen, so I'll talk at you all again some other time and as for the details, you can ask my husband to provide them and, if he's interested, I'm sure he'll oblige you, won't you, dearheart?

"What are your food preferences and how did they come about?"

Well, I'd guess if I had a favorite food, it's probably one of three things: pizza, chocolate cake, or tapioca pudding, but I don't think I could pin down exactly why.  However, I could explain one of my all-time food dislikes: Fish.

You see, my father took two of my younger brothers and myself out fishing once.  We stopped at a river and Daddy showed us how to cast our line.  Unfortunately, we had to share Daddy's fishing pole, so each of us had to take a turn.  I don't remember how old I was; perhaps eight or nine.  Anyway, since I was eldest, I got first cast and the good news is that I did catch something.  Unfortunately, the bad news is, it was a bush and Daddy had to untangle the fishing line from it before we could continue.  Now, I don't need to tell you how indignant I was about the bush and I wanted to take another try and maybe, this time, catch a fish.  But Daddy said no.  It was time for my brothers to have a try.  The older of my two brothers went first and I'm flipped if he didn't catch a really beautiful salmon.  I don't remember if the other one caught anything, but I was very sulky all the way home and, by the time we got there, I had decided that I didn't like fish and I wouldn't eat any of it.  I'm embarrassed to admit that, had I caught it, I would probably have decided that I adored fish.  Anyway, ever since then, although my mother went to great lengths to teach me to be grateful and eat what was put in front of me, I've never been that fond of fish, particularly salmon.

"What did you do as a child that got you into the most trouble with your parents?  How did they handle it?"

When I was younger, my mother once gave me her wallet and sent me to the store to buy some incidental things for her.  I bought the things she wanted and then, with the leftover change, I bought something for me.  When I got home, my folks were so mad.  They said that using the change without permission was stealing.  After that, there was a lot of talking; mainly them talking and me listening.  At some points, it even seemed like they were yelling at me.  My mother, in particular, seemed upset, but she looked really worried (the way moms tend to when they think their kids are going seriously astray).  I don't know how long I sat there and listened while they talked at me, but it felt like a long time.  That was the one and only time I've ever stolen anything.

"What were your fears, expectations, anticipations about getting married?"

Before I ever met my husband, I think my biggest fear was that I would somehow displease him and then he would leave me.  I was afraid that I wouldn't measure up to his expectations more than anything so, very often, I use to pick fights over stupid stuff that he seemed upset over and almost push him to leave.  My relief is that he's been with me steadily for nine and a half years and still loves me in a similar fashion to when we were dating. 

As far as expectations, I believe that I thought my marriage would be much like my parents'.  Dad going off to work and Mom staying home to take care of the kids and the housework.  Dad defending my mother if any of us kids managed to make her cry.  Mom and Dad acting so much like a unit it was almost scary.  Dad as the disciplinarian. Above all, though, My parents never fought in front of us, which is not to say they never disagreed, but they never made a public issue of it.  Now, I'll admit here that some of my marital expectations never came to fruition.  My husband and I have often fought loudly in public, as an example, and my husband and I tend to take turns or work as a team on the issue of discipline.  However, I did get a number of my expectations met.  I get to stay home and take care of the kids and the housework.  My husband leaps to my defense if the kids manage to hurt my feelings and he and I think so much alike sometimes it's eerie.  In fact, we're at a point where, sometimes, we finish each other's sentences.  Weird, or at least, so I would have thought before I got married.

Anticipations?  Well, one of the things my mother told me when I was a girl was that, when I got married, I should try to marry my best friend.  So, I did.  When my husband and I were engaged, I was actually anticipating marriage to my very best friend and hoping that he would be the kind of friend who would never leave me alone.  I've had numberless friends who've moved away for one reason or another and my husband is one friend I can count on to always be there.  To tell the truth, I was also anticipating having sex.  Premarital sex is seriously frowned on in my religion.  Lastly, I was anticipating kneeling across the altar with my husband-to-be and being married in one of the Lord's beautiful temples.  In my opinion, you haven't lived until you've been inside one, so if you get the chance, I recommend you take it.

 

I just finished reading my scriptures.  I try to read at least one chapter a day.  I read like this all the way through the Old Testament and am currently working my way through the New Testament. I've read all of what most people like to call "The Gospels" and am currently in Acts.  I don't know why I never read Acts before.  There's a lot of thought provoking stuff there. Anyway, after I'm done reading, I usually like to consider the passage of scripture I read and figure out how it relates to me in my own life.  It's something I learned from reading the Book of Mormon (BoM).

So Acts 13 is mostly history.  In it, Paul (Saul) and Barnabas are called on a mission.  They go off and begin teaching the Gentiles (non-Jews) the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Then they attend synagogue one day and are asked to speak,but when they start talking about Jesus and how the Jews had him murdered, the Jews get upset and throw them out.

Now, how does that relate to me?  Sometimes, I wonder if I tend to reject the truth about myself if it's presented to me in a way I consider offensive.  It's a normal human tendency to do that: reject the truth if it's not given to you in a way you like.  Laman and Lemuel (BoM) were like that, too. They would get very upset with their brother, Nephi, and even tried to kill him a few times for no better reason than that he told them the truth about themselves and they didn't like it.  I don't want to be like that.  Even if it makes me mad when people tell me the truth about myself, however tactlessly, I want to acknowledge it and, if I don't like it, try to change that aspect of myself so that it's no longer true.  That's what the Lord wants us to do.  Had he had any faults, that's what he would have done.  So, I guess that's what the Lord wants me to practice today.  More tomorrow.

Okay, following a great deal of work and lots of procrastination, my desk is FINALLY clean.  Here's a nice picture so you can all see what it looks like. 

I don't have a "before" picture, so, for now, you'll just have to take my word and that of my husband that it looks exponentially better than it did.  Just to give you all an idea of what it looked like before, the words "garbage dump" come immediately to mind.  There were papers from every stage in my daughter's first year of school (which ended today, by the way).  There were magazines, both read and unread, an old CD carousel that was blocked from turning, various and sundry Lego sets in varying stages of completion, medicines, puzzle books, manuals, binders, photographs, old bills in need of shredding.  I could continue, but it would take a REALLY long time to remember what all was there.  Now, though, all the Lego sets are disassembled and stored away in a large empty printer-paper box and sealed with duct tape.  My husband gave me his old shelves and I am using those for books and sundry things.  Building things are stashed conveniently under the desk.  I have my own printer and also a scanner, as soon as we can get it set up.  My pen jar is now within easy reach and actually full of pens (and a few precision screw drivers).  It looks so neat I just can't help but look at it and feel good.  It feels nice to be typing at a desk for a change, rather than at a table, or on a sofa or bed.  Of course, the drawers still need to be cleaned out and reorganized, but, for now, it really looks good.  I guess Mom was right when she said that the difficult jobs we're not looking forward to are best done right away so that they don't hang over our heads.  Now, the biggest question is this:  How long can I keep things like this? ;-)

Hi, friends and neighbors.  Here's a fun game that I learned when I was a young adult.  The rules are that you have to figure out what Polly Lolly likes.  If you already know the game, please don't tell the trick, okay?  How it's played is, everyone responds with one thing that they think Polly likes and one thing she doesn't like.  Those of us who get it, will answer whether she does or doesn't like that thing and we may or may not add a thing or two.  You may ask questions about things she likes.

 

I'll start.

 

I have a friend named Polly Lolly.  She's a very strange girl.  She likes pools, but not water.  She likes swimming, but not splashing.

 

Okay, friends and neighbors.  Go get 'em!  What do YOU think Polly Lolly likes?

This story is one of my favorites.  Uploaded as an audio file by request.  I hope you like it.

adapted from the story by Hans Christian Anderson

There was once a soldier who had returned from the wars.  He was marching along the high road when he was met by a witch, he could tell because her lower lip hung right down to her chest.

"Good day, soldier," she said, smiling strangely at him, "You look very brave with your fine uniform and your sword at your side and your knapsack on your back.  It's obvious that you're a real soldier, so you shall have as much money as you want."

"Thank you, old witch," said the soldier.

"You're quite welcome," she responded, "Do you see that tree over there?  You climb that tree until you come to a hole.  Let yourself down that hole until you come to a tunnel lit by a hundred candles.  In the tunnel you will see three doors.  Behind the first door you'll see a chest, which you'll find is full of copper coins.  Seated on top of the chest is a dog with eyes as big as teacups.  You don't need to fear him, though, because you'll have my blue checkered apron.  Just lay the apron on the floor and put the dog on top of it and you have nothing to fear.  Then you can take all the copper you want.  If it's silver you like, just go to the second door.  You'll find things the same, save that the dog on the chest has eyes as big as wagon wheels and the chest is full of silver coins.  If it's gold you prefer, the third door is for you.  The dog on that chest has eyes as big as millwheels.  But you need'nt fear him.  Just put him on my apron and take all that you want.  I'll tie a rope around your middle and pull you up when you're finished."

"And what do you want, witch?" asked the soldier, "Obviously, you're not offering me all this money out of the goodness of your heart."

"Oh, it's nothing much," the witch replied, "Just an old tinderbox my mother left down there.  Retrieve it for me and the money is yours."

"All right, I promise," said the soldier.  So the witch tied her rope around his waist and handed him her blue-checked apron.  Once it was tied, the soldier climbed the tree and let himself down the hole.  When he came to the bottom he found everything just as the witch had described.  Entering by the first door, he saw the dog with eyes as big as teacups and, beneath him, a great big chest.

"What a handsome dog you are," the soldier said, placing him on the apron.  He then opened the chest and, sure enough, found it filled to the very top with copper coins.  Without hesitation, the soldier filled his purse, pockets and knapsack, then closed the chest and replaced the dog.  Next he went to the second door and saw the dog with eyes as big as wagon wheels seated on an even bigger chest.

"You probably shouldn't look at me that way," said the soldier, placing him on the apron, "You'll make your eyes water."  Then he opened the chest and found such a great quantity of silver coins that he threw out all the copper coins he'd taken and filled his purse, pockets, knapsack and hat with all the silver they would hold.  Finally he opened the last door and there he saw the dog with eyes as big as mill wheels seated on an enormous chest.

"Good morning," was all he could think to say before putting him, with difficulty, onto the apron.  Opening the chest, he saw so much gold that he immediately threw away all the silver he'd taken and filled his purse, pockets, knapsack, hat and boots with nothing but gold.  When he had all he could carry, he returned quickly to the hole and called up, "All right, pull me up, you old witch."

"Do you have the tinderbox?" she asked.

"Good lord," said the soldier, "in all the excitement, I forgot it."  He quickly went and got the tinderbox and then the witch pulled him up and he stood on the high road with more gold than he'd ever had before in his life.

"What are you going to do with the tinderbox?" the soldier asked, once he was on the road again.

"That's none of your business," the witch declared, "You have your money, now give me the tinderbox."

"Look," said the soldier, "either you tell me what you're going to do with the tinderbox, or I'm going to draw my sword and cut your head off."

"No," said the witch.

So the soldier drew his sword and cut the witch's head clean off.  Then he tied all his money up in her apron, slung it on his back like a bundle and, putting the tinderbox in his pocket, left her body there in the road and made his way to the nearest town.  It was a really nice town and, without hesitation, the soldier went and rented the best set of rooms at the finest inn and ordered a dinner comprised of all his most favorite dishes, since he was rich now and had lots of cash.

The next day, he went out and bought himself some new clothes and boots and began to be known throughout the town as a fine gentleman, and the people visited him and told him all about the wonderful things that he could see in the town, not to mention about the king's beautiful daughter, the princess.

"Where can I see her?" the soldier asked.

"You can't," they said, "She lives in a large copper castle surrounded by high walls and towers.  Only the king himself can pass in or out, because there has been a prophecy that she will marry a common soldier and the king can't bear to think of such a marriage."

"I sure wish I could see her," the soldier sighed, but, try as he might, he couldn't get permission.  Still, he had lots of fun.  He went to the theater, drove through the king's gardens, and gave lots of money to the poor, which was good of him; he remembered what it was like to have nothing.  Now, though, he was rich and had lots of friends who all said he was a great guy and a real gentleman, which really made him feel good.

Unfortunately, when money is spent and not replaced, it has a habit of eventually running out.  So it was with the soldier's money.  Eventually, the time came when he only had two gold coins left and was obliged to move out of his fine rooms and into an attic room upstairs, where his friends claimed there were too many stairs to climb for them to think of visiting him and he had to clean his own boots and mend his own clothing.  Finally, one evening, he didn't even have a penny to buy a single candle.  Then, all at once, he remembered seeing a small piece of candle in the tinderbox that he'd brought from the tree that the witch had helped him into.  Quickly he dug it out.  But no sooner had he struck a few sparks with the flint and steel when the door flew open and standing there was the dog with eyes as big as teacups, which had been guarding the copper money.

"What are your orders, master?" the dog asked.

"May I have anything I wish, then?" the soldier exclaimed, "Bring me some money."

Immediately, the dog vanished and, a few moments later, returned carrying a large bag of coppers.  It was in this way that the soldier discovered the true value of the tinderbox.  If he struck it once, there appeared the first dog that guarded the copper.  If he struck it twice, the dog came that guarded the silver.  If he struck it thrice, the dog who sat on the gold made his appearance.  Soon the soldier, once again, had plenty of money and was able to return to his elegant rooms and wear his fine clothes again, so that all his friends knew and visited him again, making just as big a deal out of him as before.

After a while, though, the soldier began to think it was weird that no one could get a look at the princess.  After all, everyone in town said she was beautiful, "But what good is that if she's shut up all day and night in that copper castle of hers surrounded by so many towers?" he said to himself, "Isn't there any way that I can get to see her?  Wait a minute!  Where's my tinderbox?"  Quickly, he found the tinderbox and struck a light.  Instantly, the dog with eyes as big as teacups stood before him.

"It's midnight," the soldier said, "But I'd really like to have a look at the princess, if only for a moment."

Immediately, the dog disappeared, and before the soldier could look around, it had returned with the princess.  She was lying, asleep, on the dog's back and she looked so beautiful that anyone who saw her would know right away that she was a princess.  The soldier couldn't help but kiss her, true soldier that he was. Then the dog ran back to the copper castle with the princess.  In the morning, at breakfast, the princess confided to her parents what a singular dream she'd had the previous night.

"I dreamed," said she, "that a large dog took me from my bed and carried me to a soldier, who kissed me."

"What an interesting story," the queen said.  Nevertheless, the next night, a lady's maid was assigned to watch the princess all night to be certain it had only been a dream.

Meanwhile, the soldier longed very much to see the princess once more.  He did everything he could during the day to forget about her, to no avail.  Finally, the next night, he summoned the dog with eyes as big as teacups and sent it to fetch the princess again and to run with her as fast as he could.  But the lady's maid had put on water boots and ran after him just as quickly as he did and found the house where the princess had been carried.  Taking out a large piece of chalk, she marked the door with a large white cross, thinking that this would help her to remember where the place was, and went home to bed.  Eventually, the dog returned with the princess, but when it saw that the door of its master's house was marked with a cross, it took another piece of chalk and marked all the other doors in the town with crosses.

Early the next morning, the king and queen accompanied the ladies maid and all the officers of the court into town to see where the princess had been.

"Here it is," said the king, when he came to a door with a cross on it.

"No, dear, it must be that one," said the queen, pointing to another door with a cross on it.

"And here's one and here's another one," everyone said, because there were large white crosses on all the doors in every direction.

Finally, they decided that it would be useless to search any more and went back home again.  Now the queen was a very clever woman, with brains in her head.  She could do much more than just ride around in a golden carriage all day long.  She took a pair of scissors and cut a piece of silk into squares, and with one of these she made a little pouch that she filled with buckwheat flour and hung around the princess' neck.  Then she cut a tiny hole in the bottom of the pouch so that the flour would run out and show where the princess had gone.  The next night the dog came again and carried the princess to the soldier, who loved her very much and had begun to wish he were a prince so that he could have her for his wife.  Unfortunately for the soldier, the dog didn't notice the bag of flour leaving a trail behind it wherever it went and even up to the window where the soldier was.  Therefore, in the morning, when the king and queen went to find the place where the princess had been, they found it easily and the soldier was taken and put into prison.  The frustrating thing about that was that people constantly told him, "You're going to be hanged tomorrow."  That wasn't pleasant news, not to mention that he'd left the tinderbox back at the inn.  The next morning, he was watching out his tiny window while all the people in town hurried to the town square to see him hanged and the drums were beating and the soldiers were marching and, as he watched, he saw a shoemaker's boy, with his leather apron and slippers on, running past him so fast that one of his slippers fell off and landed next to the soldier's little window.

"Hey, you!" he called out. "Shoemaker's boy!  Don't be in such a rush.  The exciting part won't happen until after I get there, but if you'll just run to the inn where I was staying and bring me my tinderbox, I'll give you four gold coins, but you'll have to hurry."

Eager to earn four whole pieces of gold, the shoemaker's boy ran off at full tilt and soon returned with the tinderbox, which the soldier put carefully into his pocket.   Soon, the soldier was brought to the town square to be hanged and, before they could put the noose around his neck, the soldier cried out, "Wait!  Isn't it a reasonable thing to grant a condemned man one last request before he dies?  All I want is to smoke one last pipe of tobacco."  Well the king couldn't see a reason to refuse a request like that, so the soldier took out his tinderbox and struck it once, twice, thrice and immediately all three dogs stood before him.

"Save me!" cried the soldier to them, "I don't want to be hanged!"

So the dogs grabbed the judges and the councillors, one by his leg, another by his nose and threw them so far up into the air that when they came down they were dead.

"These dogs will leave me alone," the king said to himself.  But the largest dog, with the eyes as big as mill wheels, seized him and the queen and tossed them up as well.  Finally, the people were so frightened that they cried out, "Good soldier, please be our king and marry the beautiful princess."

Well, the soldier agreed and the people put him in the king's carriage and the princess got to come out of her copper castle and became queen, which was very pleasing to her.  Finally, the two were married and the wedding festivities lasted for a week, during which the three dogs sat at the table and stared at everyone with their big eyes. 

Started by emily sears

Here are some Q(s)otMoment for you (edited with numbers, since formatting for my browser is shot to hell):

1. What is a physical feature you admire in both men and women, that you find yourself noticing or comparing when out and about? 

Generally speaking, I look at chin size.  I even have my own measuring scale from 1 to 10, one being Very Little Chin and ten being Chin on Legs.

2. Who is someone we've heard of who possesses this admirable feature?

The one person I've looked at with a truely large chin on the chinscale is Jay Leno, who I rate as a seven on the scale.  As for females, I'm not sure, but I think Sandra Bernhard rates at least a six and a half on the chinscale.

3. If you could "safely" explore an addictive or otherwise unhealthful or unsafe vice, which one would you choose and why? 

I don't know.  I'm sort of happy with the addictive vice I'm currently working on at this point in time, namely food.  If I could explore it "safely," it would mean that I could maintain a decent bodyweight while still eating whatever junky food I craved.  MMmm (licks her lips) chocolate cake.

4. In which TV show currently airing would you like to be a regular character? Describe the character a bit.

I'd probably end up being one of the techs on CSI:Miami (my favorite show).  Considering my weight, there's a good chance I would start out being shy and self-conscious at first but would eventually grow toward confidence as my character began to broaden and be accepted.

5. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for a day, what you would try out?

Man!  What can I say?  Um... Not meaning to sound pervy or anything but, I would want to test the works, if you know what I mean.  I'd want to see how different Male Orgasm is from Female and that's the only way I know of to do so, without breaking my marriage vows.

According to the rules set forth, answer these questions if you've been tagged, and then tag some folks in your Neighborhood in return.  Please remember to put "playgroup" in the tag field.

I tag:
I-Luv-Eeyore and Lotus Girl